frequentlywrong

Thank you for my black and white years
And thank you for the gray
But thank you mostly for
the colors I now see most clearly.

The water floods my lungs
the voice escapes my gasp
descending into the deep
we go together we grasp

You choose to sink with me
and gurgle as I do
sinking in the midst
you decide to drown with me

For me it's water and for you
it was nails
our times may be different
but the sense of loss endures

You were helpless in the face
of those who hated you
though you held the power in your hands
and never used that power

You let death take dominion
and let it settle the score
till something greater three days
said more said more

I hope to battle a cougar and kill it
thrusting my knife-like hand into his catlike sternum
as I race feverishly eyes glistening with life and rage
towards his or my death
We both know each other and ourselves.

The bear is a different animal I know I must consider
because his ways are different
I want to live with him
but if I must I'll do what I must
to keep myself alive
even if it means sacrificing an arm
so that I save my life.

Learning about your enemies
and learning to have them as your friends
is a delicate art
both within and without.

Last night I said to someone "I know Jack"
and it made me laugh through my tears.
You see, he would have laughed at that too.
Jack was, in a sense, Joshua to me
if you know what the name Joshua means.

He was broken humanity incarnated to me
bearing in his body the strong weakness
of a frail forbearance welcoming to all,
saying to each and every friend
you mean EVERYTHING to me.

I'm richer because of you
I'm poorer without you
But I'm still richer
because I knew you
and you knew me.

http://youtu.be/BluSXq-Cf2E

To dream perchance to dream
a thousand dreams unanswered
seen through the filters of hopes unseen
a future noticed full of notions
unnoticed and some on notice
driving drives guide our emotions
hopes born out of expectations
seen as possibilities
the years strip away
till there's just C rations.

But beauty awaits in the darker corners
and ugliness too
and both can paint our larger picture
healing and hurting both me and you
will the dream become my reality
will yours become mine
which dreams will we pick
which dream will we pick
which dream will we pick.

The wind has blown across the many years
the creases line a face shaped by many tears
and beauty isn't known by an untouched palette
but beauty is shown by a tested face shorn
by many years of wind shown which
show a face shown to be torn.

A weathered face is a seen beauty
A scene seen over the course of time
lines cut line the beauty
wrinkles show a past revealed
and a brokenness revealed.

A mountain side has its features
shaped as it is by its forces
the winds and storms blow across it
but the earth below both shapes its shape
and forces its forces
and conditions its portions.

Nature and humanity are intertwined
pushing and balancing at the same time
who we are is both who we are
and who we are constantly seeking to be.

You were armed with innocence and Skittles
but that was enough to get you killed
you wandered astray across your unseen boundaries
that was enough to get you killed
you wore a visage illegal in far too many eyes
and that was enough to get you killed

Your skin color set your boundaries
though you hoped and prayed it didn't
but it didn't do you any good.
You THOUGHT you were equal
but you walked the wrong street
you walked the wrong street.

I'm a Christian and I see you
as my brother and my equal
but I know all too well
what the reality is in America
and it's all too frequent sequel.

Who you are and what happens to you
will NEVER happen to me
and that binds and separates us both
as forever separated and united
in our humanity.

It's a strange thing to look for
the Kingdom of God
the temples I seek up high
on mountains rising majestic
sparkle with brilliance
with no shadow of turning
and they leave me haunted
with an emptiness I can't escape.

You're pure unsullied
disinfected from any affliction
and affection disconnected
you look down with
disinterested eyes
and I swear you despise
the emptiness I can't escape.

Earlier today I stood upon a hill
and the insects rose
they fluttered by me and didn't bite
and the nearby distant birds
sang their songs to each other
ignorant of me listening to their voices.

But Bethlehem beckons
and blood and dirt return
to tell me of the valley
bringing down the mountain
and the birds sing.

The birds sing.

I hear stories too often to tell
of the stories of my history I'm trying to escape
of the stories of my hell
of the stories of my youth which haunt me all too well
I keep trying to escape the stories of my past.

I keep trying to escape my past
it's so broken I know too well
I don't wanna return there anytime soon
it scares me far too well by exposing who I am
I don't see that side of me anytime soon.

But Jesus you had to mess with me and tell
a story I didn't want to hear
one which brought me back to my own history
you had to inflict on me
my own history, my own history.

I love you and I hate you
and I wonder all about you
but it seems you see me better than
I'll ever see myself.

How dare you see me better than myself.
How dare you better see me than myself.
How dare you catch me as I'm trying to escape
as I'm trying to escape.

I worry for the souls of those who hate
consumed as they are by their darkened fears
fearing nearness of the other as they sear
the conscience of the conscious that they fear
and berate the notions which they fear
they will never sate
they fear they'll never sate.